How to increase your luck by asking for what you want

Do you want to increase your luck? One of the easiest ways is to literally ask for what you want… No one knows how to help you unless you tell them what you need. More often than not, you’ll find people who are willing and even eager to help if you give them the chance. However, there are a few things to keep in mind when asking others for help.

First, beware of “favor fatigue” which arises from asking lots of favors from the same person. One or two favors are fine, but then it is too much. Don’t treat your friends or colleagues like vending machines, who can be approached for a quick favor any time. Consider each favor you ask carefully.

Second, clarity is key when making a request. One of the worst ways to ask is, “can I pick your brain?” These requests leave it to the recipient to decipher what you need and whether they can realistically help you. A well-structured, thoughtful request increases the chances of a productive exchange.

Third, do your homework. Learn about the person’s experiences, read any articles they have written, or watch talks they have given. Understand what’s important to them. This level of preparation not only demonstrates respect for their work and their time but also equips you with information that can make your interaction more meaningful.

Fourth, make yourself easy to help. I learned this from my friend and colleague, Heidi Roizen, who receives countless requests for introductions. Her advice is simple: if you want her to make an introduction, make it effortless for her. Provide a short email that she can easily forward. By doing this you remove the burden of crafting the message from the person helping you, making it far more likely they’ll follow through.

Fifth, ask how you can help them. Instead of assuming that favors are a one-way street, ask if perhaps there is something that you can do to help them. Finding ways to reciprocate is a powerful way to build a real relationship. Take time to think about the resources you have that might be valuable in exchange for the help they are providing.

Sixth, always follow through with your commitments. If you agree to meet at a specific time, then show up on time. If you offer to send them relevant information, do it! These small actions demonstrate respect for the other person’s time and help to build trust.

Finally, remember that everything someone does for you is a gift, an investment of their time, energy, and goodwill. Whenever someone takes the time to help you, they are taking time away from something else. A heartfelt “thank you” goes a long way. This small act of acknowledgment sets you apart because, surprisingly, so many people fail to do it. In a world where many are quick to ask but slow to appreciate, those who genuinely express thanks stand out. And that can be a powerful advantage, unlocking lucky breaks!